Romance in the Workplace

Romance in the Workplace

According to a recent survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), around 27% of U.S. workers have been involved in a workplace romance at some point in their careers, meaning they have either currently been in one or had one in the past. Time was you’d find yourself in a local watering hole after work and meet up with another local and soon a relationship would erupt. Keep in mind that this notion is well before the advent of multiple dating sites and the online relationship connection platforms that now exist. But I digress. With the knowledge that the average “in office” worker spends roughly 1/3^rd of their life in an office (actually 30% to be precise), it is no real surprise that the work environment is a natural breeding ground (pardon the pun) for romance. But is that okay?

While interacting with people at work, where you spend 1/3^rd of your life, it is not inconceivable that you will interact with a person or persons where friendships will begin and ultimately grow. Keeping on topic, this is likely the same place where a romantic relationship will grow. Let’s be contemporary, in 2024, about 14% of employed adults worked remotely full time, which is about 22 million people. This is more than triple the percentage of workers who worked remotely a decade ago. That said, it does not change the fact that the average worker interacts with another person(s) for most of their day either by email, chat, video conferencing or by phone. It doesn’t take a psychologists review to say that people will “couple” in this virtual environment. But again, I must ask… is that okay?

Let’s step back a minute… what could possibly go wrong with having a relationship with a person at your company or perhaps with one of your partner companies? One might think it’s harmless enough if it doesn’t consume company resources or company time.

According to the same survey that I derived the information about the number of persons involved with someone at work came several other points of fact. Key points about workplace romances:

• Significant portion:This percentage (27% of workers) represents a substantial portion of the workforce.
• Comfort level:Most workers (around 75%) are comfortable with colleagues being involved in romantic relationships.
• Motivation:Most people who start a workplace romance cite love as their primary motivation (insert an “Aww” here).

Here’s the rub; does your company have a written (or implied) policy regarding romantic relationships with others who work in your own company, or with partnership companies? After all, what could possibly go wrong? Those who have had the unfortunate circumstance of dealing with a colleague or colleagues who have become romantically involved can attest the nightmare that could ensue. Getting romantically involved with a coworker could lead to several potential issues. Here’s an abbreviated list:

• Favoritism and Unequal Power Dynamics:

If one person holds a higher position or has more influence, it can create an imbalance where one partner feels pressured or concerns about preferential treatment arise.

• Gossip and Distraction:

A workplace romance can become the subject of office gossip, leading to distractions for both partners and other colleagues.

• Impact on Team Dynamics:

If a breakup occurs, it can create tension and awkwardness within the team, affecting collaboration and morale.

• Professional Reputation Damage:

A poorly handled relationship could damage your professional reputation, especially if there are public displays of affection or conflicts at work.

• Legal Issues:

In some cases, depending on company policies and the nature of the relationship, a workplace romance could lead to sexual harassment claims if boundaries are crossed.

• Conflict of Interest:

If your roles are intertwined, a romantic relationship could lead to conflicts of interest when making decisions at work.

 

Remedy and Conclusion

Creating a policy around romantic relationships in the workplace requires balancing professionalism, employee privacy, and the need for a respectful and harmonious work environment. Here are some best practices for crafting such a policy:

1. Clearly Define Workplace Relationships

• Specify what constitutes a “romantic relationship” and clarify whether the policy applies to consensual relationships, close friendships, or family connections.
• Address relationships between coworkers, as well as those involving supervisors and subordinates.

2. Prohibit Conflicts of Interest

• Require employees to disclose relationships where there is a power imbalance (e.g., manager and subordinate) to prevent favoritism or perceived unfair treatment.
• Implement safeguards, such as changing reporting structures or assigning alternative managers, to mitigate potential conflicts.

3. Emphasize Consent and Professionalism

• Highlight the importance of consent in workplace relationships to prevent harassment or coercion.
• Encourage employees to always maintain professionalism, ensuring personal relationships do not disrupt productivity or create uncomfortable situations for others.

4. Outline Reporting and Disclosure Procedures

• Create a straightforward, confidential process for disclosing workplace relationships.
• Specify who to report to, such as HR or a designated compliance officer, and detail how the information will be handled.

5. Prohibit Retaliation

• Protect employees from retaliation if they disclose a relationship or report concerns about a workplace romance that violates policy.

6. Address Inappropriate Behavior

• Make clear that public displays of affection, favoritism, or other behaviors that impact the workplace environment are unacceptable.
• Include disciplinary measures for noncompliance with the policy.

7. Align with Anti-Harassment Policies

• Reinforce the organization’s commitment to a harassment-free workplace.
• Ensure that the romantic relationships policy integrates seamlessly with existing anti-harassment and discrimination policies.

8. Train Managers and Employees

• Provide training on the policy to managers and employees to ensure understanding and compliance.
• Equip managers to address situations involving workplace relationships with sensitivity and professionalism.

9. Regularly Review the Policy

• Periodically evaluate the policy to ensure it remains relevant and effective.
• Consider soliciting employee feedback to identify potential areas for improvement.

10. Respect Privacy

• Avoid intrusive measures like banning all workplace relationships unless they pose a clear conflict of interest.
• Ensure disclosures are handled confidentially and respectfully.

The hard reality is that although a romantic relationship in the workplace could be lovely. Without a policy that identifies what is and what is not acceptable the outcome could be a nightmare. Proceed at your own peril. I’m no romantic but I’d like to think that peace would exist between all parties. Conversely, I am a realist and according to several studies, around 70% of romantic relationships fail within the first year, meaning a significant portion of new relationships do not last long term. Not great odds if you ask me. A note to employees; check your companies’ policies and really understand the legal implications of pursuing the relationship despite what your “heart” tells you. If you’re an employer or supervisor, get your policies in order. You can always hope for the best, but more importantly, plan for the worst.

And, as with all company policies, make sure the policy is applied to everyone equitably.  Treating one employee differently establishes precedent and make your policy toothless if not useless.

 

 

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